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Let’s Get Ready to Roster!!!

The Saints made more moves this offseason than Lindsay Lohan during her booze induced high-speed chase on the PCH. While most of us ESPN and nfl.com addicts were all over it, some of you may have been too busy watching Butterscotch, the beatboxer/singer spit her way to the final 10 on “America’s Got Talent” to keep up with the roster remix. So, here’s the cliffsnotes of sorts to get you ready for Sunday’s preseason opener.

From Foes to Family:
DT Kendrick Clancy
CB Jason David
LB Troy Evans
P Chris Hanson
TE Eric Johnson
LB Dhani Jones
S Kevin Kaesviharn
DT Lance Legree
K Olindo Mare
DE Anton Palepoi
WR David Patten
LB Brian Simmons

“It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye…”
K John Carney (I’m still not over the River City Relay you son-of-a…)
LB Danny Clark
TE Ernie Conwell
CB Curtis DeLoatch
G Montrae Holland
WR Joe Horn (Next time you use a cell phone in the end zone, call your agent…and fire him!)
WR-KR Michael Lewis (Beer Man today, Beer Gut tomorrow)
LB Terrence Melton
S Bryan Scott
S Omar Stoutmire
DL Willie Whitehead

New Kids on the Block:
Robert Meachem, WR
Usama Young, CB
Andy Alleman, G
Antonio Pittman, RB
Jermon Bushrod, OT
David Jones, CB
Marvin Mitchell, LB


Training Daddy Day Camp

Only two things can keep a dedicated pro-football player away from training camp: a baby and an indictment. Luckily it’s the former that will force Saints Running Back Aaron Stecker to miss 5 practices, according to nola.com. Stecker’s wife Kara underwent a C-Section to deliver the couple’s second child, a baby boy. But baby daddy better hold back on the cigars. He’ll need the lung strength come Thursday when he returns to the practice field to fight for a coveted spot on the Saints’ roster.

Game Day Chick Tip: The Reason for the Season

Preseason is so close, you can almost taste it. You can see the teams running from the tunnels, smell the sweat of a rookie fighting to prove he can play with the big boys, and hear the roar of fans hungry for some NFL action.
Or perhaps when you think of preseason, the only thing you can picture is yourself bored out of your mind watching hours of games that don’t count toward the actual season. The Chicks will now resist the urge to slap you silly for such a notion and offer up a few words of advice to help you survive “the season, before the season.”

The “P” Funk: Always remember that preseason has something in common with another “p-word”…playoffs. Both can test the passion of a player, decide careers, and separate the men from the boys. Make no mistake about it, preseason is as much about the plays on the field as it is the players. This is where we get our first glimpse as to who might be playing in the Super Bowl and who’ll be watching it with their teammates at home.

Unsolved Mysteries: This preseason has more subplots than the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. How will Joey Harrington step in as the new team leader of the Atlanta Falcons? Will former LSU Tiger Jamarcus Russell go from predator to prey as a Raiders QB? Will this be the season Eli Manning stops being the “Johnny Drama” to Peyton Manning’s “Vincent Chase?” These so-called “meaningless” games may not answer these questions, but they’ll at least shed light on what we can expect in the months ahead.

Practice Makes Perfect: This isn’t just practice time for the teams, but the fans. It’s time to see which of your game day superstitions are worth carrying into the new season, and which boil down to little more than a voodoo curse in reverse. Should you continue to wear the one black sock and one gold sock? Does your Joe Horn jersey need to be burned in some cult-like backyard ritual? Will you be forced to lock certain family members in the bathroom during game time since we all know they’re bad luck? (Sorry about that mom…)

So you see, there’s no need to sleep through preseason. Instead, seize the season! Celebrate the fact that football is back! Sundays will be about Hail Marys in more ways than one! No more marathon movies on Lifetime to pass the time! And best of all, when you get busted drinking a six pack of beer, no one will judge. Afterall, the game was on!


The former Saints Wide Receiver dubbed “Street Clothes” because he spent more time out of his uniform than in is living up to his nickname with a brand new team! Donte’ Stallworth remains on New England’s PUP list (players “physically unable to perform”.) He has yet to show up for training camp.
Stallworth was traded last preseason to the Philadelphia Eagles when rookie Marques Colston outplayed, outlasted and outwitted Stallworth during Saints camp. Sean Payton took that opportunity to vote him off the Saints’ island in Jackson, MS in exchange for Mark Simoneau. Due to a recurring hamstring injury, Donte’ went on to rack up some impressive stats in the Eagles “best cheers from the sideline” category.
Patriots Coach Bill Belichick had high hopes this guy would add speed to the team’s receiving corp. And we Chicks agree! In fact, we predict no one will out-pace Donte’ while he’s making burger runs for the players who’ll actually get to play.

Who’s the ‘New Guy?’

Think it’s hard being a rookie at training camp? Try being a new coach. Seven NFL teams hit camp this week under the direction of some fresh meat. And you don’t have to be an expert to know it’s a hard knock life for the newbies, on and off the field.
Instead of being treated like NFL royalty, the coaches get kicked around almost immediately by the local sporting press. Instead of waving signs of support, the fans are sizing them up, trying to see almost instantly what tricks they’ve got up their sleeves. No doubt about it, training camp for a new coach can be about as awkward as the first day of school for a high school substitute teacher who called the honor roll with his fly down.
Here’s a look at just some of what the new team leaders are up against.

Oakland Raiders – Lane Kiffin replaces Art Shell.
Kiffin is the youngest coach ever in the NFL. Will GM (as in “General Maniac”) Al Davis suck all of the life out of young Kiffin’s career the way he has sucked all of the success out of his once viable franchise? Or will the youth and exuberance of Kiffin and his new quarterback, JaMarcus Russell, overcome the dark rule of Al and deliver victory once again to the beleaguered Raider nation?

Prediction: Al’s evil spell of ego, age and flawed judgment are impenetrable and Kiffin will go the way of Bill Callahan.

Dallas Cowboys – Wade Phillips replaces Bill Parcells. Few fans outside of Dallas expected Jerry Jones and Bill Parcells to be a match made in heaven but the Big Tuna got flaky much sooner than anticipated. Phillips brings a more mellow approach to coaching that just might help him manage the demands of his irksome boss, the high expectations of Dallas fans and that problematic motor mouth in the locker room known as T.O. If he can juggle all of that, then Phillips should be able to take advantage of the talent he inherits on both sides of the ball.

Prediction: Bum’s boy puts together a winning season and in the NFC that’s usually enough to get you to the postseason.

San Diego Chargers – Norv Turner replaces Marty Schottenheimer. Turner is in the unenviable position of taking over a team that had a 14-2 record in 2006, the league’s best. Do we honestly believe someone named “Norv” with a record of 58-82-1 as a head coach has it in him to keep the Chargers, well, charged?

Prediction: Chargers GM A.J. Smith will be singing an Urkel-esque “Did I do that?” when San Diego finishes the season 8-8.

Miami Dolphins – Cam Cameron replaces Nick Saban. Ah Nick, we hardly knew ye as an unsuccessful NFL coach before you slunk away to the cozy, cash-laden environs of Alabama football. Cameron comes from San Diego where he was a very successful offensive coordinator and very sought after as a head coaching candidate coming off that 14-2 season. He is taking over a team that does not have the likes of LaDainian Tomlinson to power their offense. Both the offense and defense need the addition of some young playmakers for the Dolphins to keep up with the Patriots and the Jets.

Prediction: Miami fans are going to be bitter about Saban for at least a couple of years as they wait for the Dolphins to become competitive again in the AFC East.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Mike Tomlin replaces Bill Cowher. Steelers’ owner, Dan Rooney, is following the recipe that’s made the team successful in the past: hire a young guy with a strong defensive background just like previous coaches Chuck Noll and Cowher. Tomlin takes over a team wanting to prove that their 8-8 record last season was a fluke and that they are still a contender for future Super Bowl rings.

Prediction: Steelers fans will wave their Terrible Towels deep into the playoffs.

Arizona Cardinals – Ken Whisenhunt replaces Dennis Green. The Cardinals are out to prove they “aren’t who we thought they were” and Ken Whisenhunt may just be the guy to help them do it. He arrives from Pittsburgh hoping to work some magic on this downtrodden franchise. He brings with him Russ Grimm who carries some powerful mojo in the form of four Super Bowl rings that he earned as a player and as an assistant coach. They have a lot of weapons to work with on an offense that features Matt Leinart, Edgerrin James, Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. And they are playing in a division that doesn’t have a team poised to dominate this season.

Prediction: The Cardinals soar past the Seahawks to win the NFC West.

Atlanta Falcons – Bobby Petrino replaces J.L. Mora. To quote a much more infamous Mora…”Playoffs? Playoffs?!” Petrino shopped himself around quite a bit the last few years trying to escape the University of Louisville. He’s probably missing Louisville now that he’s stepped into a little dog mess in the ATL. There is an upside to his predicament, though. If Petrino can coach the team to a winning season without Michael Vick, he will be a hero. And if he ends up with a losing season, he’s got a really good excuse.

Prediction: The Falcons have no dog in the hunt without Vick and pick top 10 in next year’s draft. And to prove there’s no hard feelings, Hollywood Horn is more than welcome to attend our Super Bowl Party in Arizona as we watch the Saints kick some AFC tail!

The Huddle Hottie Watch: 20-16

Our countdown of the top 25 hottest NFL players born within the past 25 years continues.

#20 Wendell Mathis, RB Minnesota Vikings
Born: 09/28/1983

#19 Chad Owens, WR Tampa Bay Bucs
Born: 04/03/1982

#18 Marquis Cooper, LB Seattle Seahawks
Born: 03/11/1982

#17 Drew Coleman, CB NY Jets
Born: 04/22/1982

#16 Robert Ortiz, WR Seattle Seahawks
Born: 05/30/1983

Who will make the top 15? Here’s a hint, a rookie and a Saint both made the cut!

He’s Half Football Player, Half Cowboy: What More Could You Ladies Want?

The Saints made it official today with their first round draft pick. Former Tennessee Vols Wide Receiver Robert Meachem signed with the team just one day before the start of training camp. Meachem is best known for his quick adjustments,physical play, and good hands. (Sounds like everything we look for in a man!)
Last year he scored 11 TDs and set a single season record for receiving yards. But let’s face it, you didn’t come here to get this guy’s stats. (That’s what NFL.com is for.) The Chicks are taking you outside the numbers and inside the huddle to get to know the Saint’s newest addition with a little something we’re calling:

It’s So Nice to Meachem!

“Giddy? Yup!”: Robbie, as his family calls him, grew up on a farm in Tulsa, OK and comes from a family line of Rodeo riders. He’s the kind of Cowboy we can actually root for. (You know, not the fumbling or temper tantrum type.) As a small child, Meachem learned to rope young calves.

Sweet as Humble Pie: You can find just as many articles on this guy’s speed as you can his humility. In an interview with nflplayer.com, he’s quoted as saying

“I really don’t watch all the media coverage; my brothers and everybody will call and tell me all that stuff. I never looked at that stuff because I always want to stay humble. It kind of takes away from the guys who pay attention to all that and they just think about themselves.”

Not Only Does He Catch, But He Hurls: You’ve heard of strange pre-game rituals before, but Meachem’s may take (and regurgitate) the cake. He’s known for taking part in a good upchuck before taking the field, particularly in big games. (Arizona better get the barf bags ready. We wouldn’t want to mess up their new stadium come Super Bowl time!)

Family Guy: Meachem is the father of a precious baby girl and has pledged to not pull a Rickey Jackson and be labeled “All-Star Deadbeat Dad.”

Bottom Line: Seems like the Saints have wrangled in quite the Cowboy. It’ll be interesting to see how Coach Sean Payton blends Meachem into the team’s offensive scheme. As for the vomiting, maybe we can convince him to turn his pre-game ritual into an end zone dance! I’ve always wondered what those glistening Colts jerseys would look like in a chunky orange hue.