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Super Bold Ads?

Some of the real winners and losers on Super Bowl Sunday will be nowhere near the field.  Oh they’ll be sweating alright, but not because of the desert sun.  You see, Sunday is a make or break day for all the ad executives behind those multi-million dollar, hit or miss commercials.  These ad execs came up with the concepts that cost the advertisers more than $2 million for 30 seconds of your time.  So unlike the stakes for Eli Manning, failure for the ad companies is not an option.

So, will this year’s crop of commercials score with Super Bowl viewers or sail far from the mark like one of Olindo Mare’s botched field goals?  Take a look at a few of these pre-released ads and judge for yourself.  Continue reading

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Who Dat…

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…Say dey gonna beat dem Hornets?  Who Dat?  Who Dat? 

Our team is on a roll.  They’ve got the second best record in the NBA.  They’re on a 9 game winning streak, one that could be extended if they take care of business against the Golden State Warriors tonight.  Their record currently sits at 32-12.  One more win, and they tie a franchise record.  And no matter how awkward it feels, we’re forcing ourselves to care.   

Want some more good news?   Chris Paul will likely get a nod to take part in the NBA ALL-Star game tomorrow.  His coach on the All-Star team will likely be none other than Hornets Coach Byron Scott.  Why would Scott get the duty?  Because his team’s got the best record in the West.  That’s right, the BEST in the WEST.   Go ahead and pinch yourself.  

New Orleans has a winning team…a team at the top, a force to be reckoned with.  If that’s not reason enough to stop riding the Hornets’ bandwagon with one leg hanging off, then we don’t know what is. 

The real trick now will be understanding the NBA the way we understand football such that the passion extends beyond hometown pride.  Stand by people.  We smell a Basketball Chicktionary in the works.    

Gag-worthy Game Day Gadgets

Let’s face it; only losers, hermits, and weirdos watch the Super Bowl alone.  After all, the Super Bowl ain’t just about the game, it’s about the party.  It’s about the chips, the dip, the calories, and the beer, oh…the beer!  It’s about rating the commercials with loud boos or uproarious laughter.  And most importantly, it’s about all the super silly Super Bowl party gadgets you can waste money on to impress your friends.

Below are just a few picks that “tackled” our attention.

(Warning: May cause excessive eye rolling) 

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The Remote-Controlled Beverage Buggy:  Holds two 12oz cans or bottles and a remote control that lets you dispatch the buggy to and from the freezer.  What’s not included? The person on the other end to actually put the beer into the damn buggy, which means someone will still have to get up anyways. Cost: $49.95 http://www.hammacher.com/publish/74740.asp?promo=homepage 

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Football Snack Bowl:  Annoy your guests every 30 seconds with this musical football snack bowl.  It holds over two cups of your favorite snacks and plays the FOX NFL theme every time someone opens it.   (Prepare for this nifty tool to be punted out a window by halftime.) Cost: $19.99  http://www.thekitchenstore.com/fosnbopfoxnf.html 

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Brookstone SportsCast Football: Why get your scores and stats from the TV or your laptop for free when you can shell out $100 for a wireless football scoreboard?  The scoreboard is updated every 15 minutes.  We actually like the idea of this gadget during football season when you’re trying to keep track of other teams in your division.  Cost: $99 http://www.brookstone.com/sl/product/4837-sportscast-wireless-football-scoreboard.html 

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Good Bye Smell:  Apparently there’s been an outbreak of funky fingers after Super Bowl games in years past.  That would explain the need for a new product called “GoodBye Smell.”  It removes all the smells associated with hosting a Super Bowl Party from your hands.  (Can we just say everything about this product is creepy…)  Cost: $5  http://www.goodbyesmell.com/

Are You Smarter Than a Giants Fan?

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As if we needed another reason to hate the Patriots, a new completely unnecessary and biased report by a Boston columnist touts Patriots fans are smarter and “classier” than their New York counterparts. Oh yes my friends, we couldn’t make this stuff up. Read the article that’s guaranteed to make even non-Giants fans mumble aloud “Go eff yourself…”

The First Step is Admitting It

I imagine the way I feel right now is kind of how Amy Winehouse felt when they tried to make her go to rehab. I’m anxious, scared, confused, angry, and I may even have a touch of the shakes. (Unlike Amy, my hair isn’t weighed down by 5 pounds of hairspray and I don’t smell like 3-day old piss.) Still, the sad reality of football season coming to an end has me down in the dumps. Soon, they’ll try to make me watch Arena, and to that I say: “NO, NO, NO!”

Today I take the first step down a long football-less road. I have the option to enjoy brunch with my friends, hit the mall, or even watch Lifetime movies (gasp!) without the fear or dread of missing a second of game day action. Like any junkie, I can rest easy knowing just when and how I’ll get my next fix. It’s after Super Bowl Sunday that the withdrawals really kick in. In about two weeks, there’s a good chance I’ll be begging someone to inject an NFL replay of the Saints vs. Seattle straight to the vein. (You don’t even want to know what I’d do to get another hit of the BCS Championship Game.)

We hear the first step to overcoming an addiction is to admit you have one. And so, here goes. My name is Nola Chick: And I’m a football addict. I know I can survive until next Sunday. God help me the day after.

And the Nominee for Best Actor Is…

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….Tom Brady in “My Right Foot.”   

What a coincidence that on the same day as the Oscar nominations were announced, Tom Brady was cast to star in his first dramatic role?  (Get it, cast…)  We’ve all seen the headlines: “Tom Brady: Cast Away”; “Brady Spotted in Cast”; “Brady Gets the Boot.” 

 The headlines stem from pictures of the Patriots QB in New York with a wrapped up right foot.  With the salacious headlines came the inevitable obsession over whether Brady’s foot would “heel” in time for the Super Bowl.  (Get it, heel…)  But did anyone stop for a second to the think that the QB was playing us all for fools? 

The photos of Brady were taken during a well publicized playdate with model/girlfriend Gisele Bundchen.  Thing his, he didn’t seem to need any cast help while he and his cuddle bunny were out club hopping later that night. Me thinks something scandalous is definitely “afoot.”  (Btw, I’m on fire!)

When questioned about the cast, Brady reportedly told the paps “There’s always bumps and bruises.  I’ll be ready for the Super Bowl.  He then limped away yelling to the crowd “God bless us, everyone! 

Could Brady’s cast controversy (don’t you just love alliteration) be a possible attempt to throw Giants coaches off the track?  Oh yeah, this dirty trick has Musty Sweatshirt Man written all over it.  Nice try “Tiny Tom”, but the Chicks are on to you.  

(I swear, if he weren’t so remarkably hot, we’d…we’d…well, we probably wouldn’t care as much.)

Giants Face Off!

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Does that demonic looking picture of Tom Brady’s Baby Momma Bridget Moynahan give you the heebee-jeebees?  Giants fans say don’t be alarmed.  It’s only their secret weapon in Super Bowl XLII: the Moynahan Mask.

The mask was an idea scared up by New York radio station Q104.3.  They’re hoping that much like Jinxy Jessica Simpson sent Tony Romo and the Cowboys on the road to suck-ville, a stadium full of angry ex-girlfriend heads will throw Tom Brady off his game.  (Hmm, we wonder if Pats fans will counter with their own version of Eli kryptonite…a mask of his brother.)

To download a Moynahan Mask of your very own, click here. 

(Bastard child sold separately.)