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Miles to Perrilloux: Geaux Away!

So you knew it was coming…or did you?  LSU has given quarterback and occassional game day hero/train wreck Ryan Perrilloux the Louisiana-shaped boot.  And I gotta say, it makes me sad.   

Maybe not so much as an LSU fan, but as a foe of people with talent who can’t help but get in their own way.  For me, Ryan Perrilloux symbolizes so many talented athletes out there who get the shot of a lifetime and have no idea what to do with it.  (Yes Michael Vick, I am most certainly picturing you while I write this…and you too Pacman Jones…and you too Bengals roster.) 

Perrilloux’s been accused in a club fight, of using a fake id to get into a casino, of skipping classes and he’s been linked to some sort of counterfeiting scheme.  Why would one of the most sought after high school quarterbacks in the state go out of his way to act a damn fool once in college?  It just doesn’t make sense.

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Fire on the Bayou

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I got one word for you people: Vindication. Since it’s got more than two syllables, I’ll go through the bother of defining it for certain Bulldog fans. According to Webster (not Emmanuel Lewis but Merriam Webster), vindication is the act of “asserting, maintaining, or defending against opposition.” In a season of unpredictability, doubts, disappointments, and adversity, LSU found itself presented with a defining moment, the ultimate opportunity to silence critics who claimed they had no entitlement to a BCS Championship Game berth. On January 7th, 2008, the Tigers seized their opportunity to assert, maintain, and defend against their opposition. The prize for their resilience, another $30,000 Waterford crystal football to add to their trophy case…not to mention an undeniably priceless treasure: vindication.

And now, on to the trash talk!

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When Tigers Attack…

Chick Sips: Purple and Goldschlager Tiger Attack with a Championship Cherry on Top

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Thank goodness for you LSU.  Thank goodness you gave us a reason to drink believe in January.   The National Championship Game is finally days away and I don’t just want you to win; I want you to chop those Buckeyes down to size and prove to the world why you deserve to be #1.

Those Georgia Bulldogs are talking mad trash after beating up on poor little Hawaii.  You know, the same Hawaii who went undefeated by beating the equivalent of my nephew’s pee-wee team.  Oh and USC, just because it’s called the Rose Bowl doesn’t mean you get to act like total pricks.  You won a game you should have won you sissies.  Now move over so the big boys can play.

On Monday night, the Buckeye stops here.  LSU will finally silence their critics and reclaim top billing in the BCS.  Of course, they can’t do it without a little help.  So we decided to whip up something extra special for this major matchup:  Purple and Goldschlager Tiger Attack with a Championship Cherry on Top!
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Dear Dawgs: Geaux F*CK yourselves!

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It was bound to happen: the endless “we was robbed” chants from all the top 5 teams who, unlike LSU and Ohio State, find themselves playing in a BCS game other than the National Championship game.    

Virginia Tech: “We only lost two games in regular season, and it was to two top rated teams.  Why can’t we go?”

Answer: Um, because LSU was one of the teams that kicked your ass. 

Kansas Fans: “Sure we only beat the equivalent of an old folks home ranking wise in regular season, but we were ranked #5.  Doesn’t that mean something?”

Answer: Be lucky you got into ANY bowl game. 

Georgia Fans (Our very favorites): “We’re one of the hottest teams in the country.  We won our last six.  We were ranked at #4.  We didn’t lose over the weekend, so why should our ranking drop. It’s not fair. Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!!”

Answer: Want a little fermented cheese with that whine?  The only reason you didn’t lose a game this weekend was because you didn’t earn the opportunity to play in one because you didn’t win the East in the SEC.  The team that won beat you handily in regular season and guess what, LSU beat that team!! Plus, your other loss was to sorry South Carolina, and they handed it to you!  Losers!!!!  Continue reading

Sweeter Than Sugar

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Forget the Sugar Bowl.  LSU is going to the National Championship Game baby!  My emotions are all over the place.  After all, this means today will NOT go down as one of my worst days as a football fan.  

Thanks for that LSU.  Thanks for giving me something to look forward to in January.

WHAT THE F*CK!!!!!

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The BCS sucks.  I still agree with that.  But here’s what’s changed.  LSU has a legitimate shot at the National Title game.  I know, I know, it sounds crazy.  But WVU and Missouri loss tonight.  Georgia didn’t make it to a conference game, nor did Kansas.  And we beat VT tech handily earlier in the season.  All that means we should face off with Ohio State (or whoever) for the title.  It’s fabulous.  I’m too drunk to put it into words.  Let’s let the Violent Femmes sum it up for me por favor.